Soi Cowboy Dancers

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Old School Bars

If you want to talk about the bars with any authority then you really have to hit them hard. By that I’m not talking about hitting the piss. You’ve got to spend at least an hour or more with a bargirl/dancer to really get to know the true nature of the bar. Is this place a dud or not? Only once I sensed the bar was well run and the women were keen to have a good time did I hit the bar to the max. Some bars it only took 30 min's to find out that they’re a Dud!! With several good looking coyote dancers that are better of getting a job as a mannequin you couldn't pay your bill quick enough and leave. The problem with these bars you still need spend a bit of cash before you realize how bad they are.

I know at least 10+ bars here in Bangkok were you you can have a mind blowing good time. After a year and a half of research … yeah right… I didn’t know it at the time but it was something that had to be done to have any real idea how the bars are run/operate here in Bangkok. I got to see what works and what doesn't and it was a recurring theme of why some bars are so good and some are not. It only takes a bar hiring one wrong person who has any power within the establishment then the bar is doomed.

Now I can pick up fairly quickly the nature of a bar without having to interact with anyone but every now and again I do just to see that what I am sensing from a bar is true. This week I headed to Soi Cowboy to check on my favorite old school gogo bars all belonging to the same stable … The Toy Bar, Fanny's Bar, Moonshine Joint & Jungle Jim's although I don’t go in as much they still serve a purpose and that is if you want to let loose in ways you wouldn’t or couldn't within other bars then you can do it here with confidence.

The Toy Bar which in my mind 2 years ago I called the mighty Toy Bar. F…meee some nights were so good and at 100฿ a lady drink you might as well have 2 or 3 dancers over for a drink when they are quiet. Now don’t think that you sit there buying women drinks. Most people will just sit there like they are stuck in headlights or worse get their head ripped off within the bar!!! You know that the bargirls are having a good time when they grab a wet wipe as the head to the bathroom … live a little … You will remember this forever. There will be expats who have lived here for years and never known how good this bar was at the time (2014/15) and still is if you choose the nights and women correctly. Do your homework. Tonight the Toy Bar looks good but I’m going to check on the other three bars first as there is no escape once one of these chicks gets on your lap.

Moonshine Joint Soi Cowboy

Moonshine Joint & Jungle Jim's - Soi Cowboy

I had walked past the Moonshine Joint & Jungle Jim's earlier and commented to a few of the bargirls seated out front, who just happen to be in their late 30’s (polite), at how good they looked. The difference tonight is they had taken time to add that extra layer of make-up. I said they looked about 30 thinking they would appreciate that compliment, sadly no. Why do women pushing 40 want you to say 29?

I came back an hour later to Jungle Jim’s and found the 29 yr old :) bargirls to be missing in action. That little bit of make-up had done the trick as they had already been barfined. Jungle Jim’s can be bit deceiving as the do have the best looking Coyote dancers of the group but sadly one is a total dud. She has a boyfriend who picks her up late after work therefore she has no plans to go with anyone. She does find it easy to get a drink but if the customer try’s to get a bit touchy then she will excuse herself and heads of to the bathroom, and wont come back until he's gone. Bad sh.t really. The good news is she’s the only dud. If you plan to party with one of the coyote dancers then the drinks are double the price, so make your sure you know who’s who. Unfortunately all the regular dancers are already having a drink with customers and since the dud Coyote is here I’m not in the mood to hang around. What I did see tonight is Jungle Jim's are running a bit thin with staff since the bargirls were barfined earlier. The regular dancers did look good but were busy. I grab my drink and bill and head next door to the Moonshine Joint. You don't need pay your bill just yet if you’re going into one of the 4 bars next.

Inside the Moonshine Joint there is one customer with three women around him at the end of the bar. I know what is going on over there. He’ll be having a fit any second or would have if I hadn’t walked in…. it might have killed the mood. I can already see that the Moonshine Joint is still a bar that you can go a bit crazy and have a night to remember. The women dancing looked good but I know when that guy does his load he will just pay and leave. Job done… Really I’m just trying to get back to the Toy Bar so time to go. I head over to Fanny’s Bar carrying my beer and bill. I did tell the waitress out front were I was going since Fanny’s Bar is a short walk across Soi Cowboy.

To me Fanny's Bar was the worst of the 4 bars. Poorly run and the bargirls were lazy, yet I would still go in since you can take control of the music being played via their computer and also watch the bands on one of the flat screen TV’s. You can do this at all these 4 bars but here it’s a good spot if you feel like being left alone. Although there are some customers within the outside bar area, inside it was empty. The dancers up dancing both looked good as did the two waiting for their turn. The music being played was crap and whilst I was drinking my beer I noticed at least eight people stick their heads in and then leave. There seems to be a change in leadership within the bar as although I was the only customer the girls kept on dancing. Not like a year ago it would have been a real downer. I’ll say it again the music being played was crap!! The dancers like it and everyone working within the bar likes it… but it’s obvious the customers who stuck their heads in didn't. It’s all about demographics.

I finish my drink and I’m about to head back to the Toy Bar when I notice a dancer seated outside … she looks better than any of the coyote dancers inside, she’s lean and fit. So change of plans and in we go to the bar area and I became the DJ. If I’m buying chicks drinks at any of these bars then I’m not going to listen to crap music!! After about 5 or 6 songs the dancers are looking over saying they can’t dance to this then the drink staff are saying it’s no good… HA HA … what the F…? okay why am I laughing? …… Maybe it’s because every f.cker who has now stuck their head in has stayed! Now there are around ten customers inside. All the bargirls have drinks and they complain to me about the music… F..meee…. 1+1 =2.

During the night even a group of 4 Japanese came in. They were accompanied by a couple of women from another bar just when The Rolling Stones were playing ‘Midnight Rambler’. They headed straight for a seat and stayed for about an hour. This wouldn’t have happened if the crap music was being played. My new friend really got the music and stuck to me like glue since I was sitting on a stool, bonus.  Once the ‘Midnite Rambler’ finished she excused herself to go to the bathroom and near the end of the bar she … I can’t write this … All I will say is I spent over 2 hours within Fanny’s Bar and had a sh.t hot night.

It goes to show with just a little tweak most bars can be successful especially when they have dancers that want to have a good time. I never made it back to the Toy Bar since tonight Fanny’s Bar was so good. Even the complaining about my set list was all done in good spirits making for a very enjoyable evening.

I did hit other locations this week but truth be told I only gave myself a short space of time to write this article. I had too much work this week in regard to my other website going mobile. October-December is the time the ads revenue goes through the roof since people are searching for Tafe Courses (Australians will understand) this time of year for the start of next.

Since starting the Private Investigator website several people have now found employment within the industry after gaining their licence and finding the website by pure chance.

So many people have the wrong perception of a being an Investigator…. It’s no big wank … if you’re short, fat, skinny, too tall, too old or people think, no way they can’t do that then you’re physically perfect for the Job. You just have to be honest with yourself. Do you have the nerve?

You will most likely work as a Surveillance Investigator working on ‘Workers Compensation Fraud’. The skills you need are patients, be discreet, honesty, the ability to follow someone without being seen, plus the all important for the Insurance Company’s and that is get video (not pictures) of the claimant showing their normal daily activity's.

The biggest bonus of becoming an Investigator is you will be self-employed and in Australia that means jackpot time. You will make above the average wage and pay the fraction of the tax that you would if you were still an employee. The tax savings over time are considerable. Once you enter the world of the self-employed you will be kicking yourself for all those years you worked for an employer.